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Saturday November 12, 2005
The Guardian
White open spaces... from Champery, there is nowhere to go
except straight up into the mountains.
Last winter, only a few weeks before I made my annual visit, a
car careered into the front of Mitchell's Irish/Swedish bar and
restaurant in downtown Champiry. A couple of young snowboarders
lost control of their vehicle on the rather sharp and fairly
steep road down to the tilipherique station. In a scene straight
out of a John Woo movie, the errant motor smashed into a pile of
skis and poles stacked outside the property, ploughed right
through the floor-to-ceiling window and parked its front bumper
inches away from a couple tucking into a plate of king prawns
and just shy of the trendy, brutalist fireplace. Only minor
injuries were sustained and, what with this being Switzerland,
impeccable medical service was administered in a neighbouring
town. The windows were replaced the very next day.
I alert you to this incident because in all of the years that I
have been going to Champiry, this accident is (to my knowledge,
at least) just about the only newsworthy thing that has ever
happened in the village. Champiry is irrefutably pretty,
spectacular in its location and conveniently situated, but just
not the kind of place where anything particularly exciting or
controversial happens.
If you want rowdy aprhs-ski action, head for teenage Val
d'Ishre. If you want to be robbed snow-blind before you even get
to the funicular and be on constant rubber-necking alert for
Euro-celebs, book a week in St Moritz. If you want Aman-standard
luxury, try Courchevel. If it's a sushi dinner and a bottle of
150 disco vodka (at the Farm club, inevitably), go the Fergie-endorsed
Verbier.
You won't get any of above in little Champiry. While its
position and geology is high on drama, the village is decidedly
lo w on glamour. Nightlife is quiet and unobtrusive. Restaurants
and bars are mostly traditional and unfussy, neither ritzy or
downmarket, while chalets and hotel rooms are dominated by a
local (Swiss/French) clientele. The villagers don't appear to be
wildly concerned that this entertainingly curmudgeonly attitude
to vacationing conspires to keep most British tour operators
away.
So, why do I keep going back? Well, Champiry is a little gem of
a resort. It feels proper. Unpretentious, charming, efficient
and old school. People come here to ski, drink gl|hwein and eat
stringy fondue; sup a mug of Cardinal at a dodgy bar and shoot a
frame of pool with a couple of French lads. Just like they used
to. While it serves as a terrific base for some of the best
skiing in the Alps, its reputation for exclusivity lies only in
its full stop of a location.
Champiry is in an Alpine cul-de-sac. Once you've made your way
from Geneva, past Montreux, winding up the switchbacks through
Aigle and Monthey, you come to an abrupt halt and can't really
go anywhere else. Except straight up into the snow-covered
mountains, of course. (By car, you can do the 80-mile trip in an
hour and a half. By train, it takes almost forever, struggling
up Val d'Illiez in a couple of comical trams that appear to have
been built for Noddy and his friends. That said, it's probably
one of the most agreeable dead ends in Europe.
Champiry's chalet community sits like a chocolate box village in
the adenoids of Les Dents Du Midi's jagged jaws and no matter
how many times I visit, I never get tired of the setting's
formidable amphitheatre. People will tell you that Portes du
Soleil suffers from being too low, and that its lack of altitude
makes the snow unreliable, but in 14 years I've always been
lucky.
I go back not just for the skiing but because I like the
routine. Almost every winter, I'll take the same pretty but
bargain-priced chalet for a week with 10 to 12 mates, mostly dec
ent skiers and mostly male (my wife doesn't ski). A pleasantly
puerile and positively musky school-trip ambiance prevails and
the timetable is undemanding, unsophisticated but hugely
enjoyable.
We get up at 8.30am, nursing sore heads usually, eat a
rudimentary breakfast of coffee and deliciously chewy, freshly
baked white bread and butter, then stagger down the steep hill
piling in the big red James Bond-y tilipherique up to
Planachaux.
One day, we might get up extra early to attempt an ambitious
circumnavigation of the whole area (locals call it "the
circuit"), but usually it's just an easy long run towards the
startlingly post-modern, wooden-clad tenements of Avoriaz in
France in the centre of the vast Portes du Soleil area. Then
into neighbouring Morgins, Morzine, Chatel, Les Gets, taking our
pick from 700-plus kilometres of pisted runs and extensive,
untracked off-piste opportunities before stopping for a spag bol
and salad lunch at Les Lindarets.
Carbo- loaded now, with courage buoyed by red wine and lager, we
may attempt the infamous Chavanette (the wall), with its moguls
the size of VW Beetles, widely regarded as one of the toughest
black runs in the world. But more often than not, we just glide
down the hopelessly romantic Grand Paradis, an extended schuss
of a road that leads back to the village (via a short bus
shuttle).
After tea, cakes and a snooze in the chalet, we will put on our
hiking boots and take a spirit-soaring walk along the Galerie
Difago, a trail cut high up into the rock face of Les Dents du
Midi range in 1905. Come the evenings, we pair off and cook an
evening meal, each laughably aspirant Jamie Oliver contributing
a menu and a wine list for every night that we stay.
I know all this sounds somewhat unremarkable and ordinary, but
when the snow is deep, the weather fine and the fire roaring, it
is utterly delightful. And what with boutique hotels and
members-only ski-lodges coming increasingly into vogue, it's
also the kind of earthy ski vacation that feels endearingly
unfashionable and, as the years roll by, a simple winter holiday
that is harder and harder to find.
And at night? Well, take a walk around after dark and the
village appears to be enduring a kind of social ice age. But
behind closed doors, it's discreetly rocking. Mitchell's bar and
restaurant, the aforementioned car crash venue, is Champiry's
newest bar (it opened five years ago) and has played a major
role in revving up the night life. It's a funky little place
decorated in fashionable eco-raw style, with tree trunks
seemingly propping up the ceiling and groovy low-voltage lights
hanging at random angles from fluffy white clouds. Food is a
brave combination of pan-Asian and Swedish specialities.
When Mitchell's closes at midnight, it's a stagger up the hill
into the middle of the village to Bar des Guides or "Le Min", a
rocky labyrinth of a music bar in the converted wine cellar of
the Hotel Suisse.
Other recent developments include the acquisition (six years
ago) of the Hotel de la Paix by Stephen Purdew, the owner of the
famous Champney's health spa chain. Purdew has spent over #1
million furnishing the hotel in English country style. He's
named the rooms after counties, fitted tartan carpets and en
suite whirlpool tubs. In typically tricky Champiry style, it's a
corporate-bookings-only operation. The owner insists it is a
labour of love rather than a serious business venture.
"I've been to all the main resorts in the Alps," says Purdew.
"But Champiry is the best of the lot. It's a real hidden
treasure - nicely lively, unpretentious with access to some of
the best intermediate skiing on the planet. I think during the
next two or three years, Champiry will become much more
prestigious."
The Alpine Aspen, then? It's unlikely. So far, Purdew's plan has
included inviting some of his many celebrity mates over for a
blast on the slopes. English holidaymak ers momentarily gawped
when the likes of Frank Bruno, Ross Kemp, Anthea Turner and
Jamie Theakston did the Douglas Bader walk thing in their rear
entry boots towards the lift of a morning. Formula one driver
David Coulthard, comedian Rory Bremner and a rogue Pet Shop Boy
have also popped by. Swiss locals, of course, didn't bat an
eyelid.
Big-name skiers like it, too. One year, I shared a chalet with
Americans Gordy Peifer and Dave "Swany" Swanwick, two of the
high-octane freestyle skiing fraternity's most famous exponents.
In the evenings, we sat by the chalet fire watching scary videos
of them straight-lining near-vertical descents in Alaska or
surfing through neck-high powder in the Himalayas. Focused
dudes, they only had two forms of response to any matter of
contention. Things were "awesome" or they "sucked". I asked them
what they thought of Champiry. "It doesn't suck," they assured
me as we downed endless Cardinals at the semi-legendary La
Crevasse dive bar.
La Crevasse is run by Andy MacMillan, a Vancouver-born ski
obsessive who's lived here more than two decades but appears
(spiritually, at least) to be still in his high-fiving mid-20s.
Andy is a piping-hot extreme type who has skied around Everest
and standing at La Crevasse's bar talking to him, it's rather
satisfying to know that someone who grew up in the shadow of
cosmopolitan Whistler Mountain, one of the best ski areas in the
world, prefers to live in this unassuming Alpine village. "Put
it this way," he says, clearly relishing yet another perfect day
up by the snaggled dentistry of Les Dents du Midi, "I'm not here
for the cheese."
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